Healing for me has come in waves. There were seasons when I went months without feeling the trauma of being in an abusive relationship. I thought I was completely good and loved my life accordingly. However, there were still triggers that rushed me back to places and spaces that were painful.

There was a time when my home was more of a storage unit than it was an oasis. I spent at least 3 weekends out the month traveling. My life consisted of constant movement. Some of those movements were work-related and others were a way of escape. Maybe it was my compulsion to say, “yes” when my body needed me to say, “no.” Regardless I put myself into a rhythm of living that left me depleted.

I took a beautiful walk in a rose garden and it was so gorgeous and enchanting. I thought about the different types of roses, the beauty that’s intertwined in the stems and how they remind me so much about my life.

As a mother caring for myself is actually one of the most selfless things I can do. I don’t do it “just because I want to,” but I need to so I can be more present, more graceful, and more loving for my children.

Who knew I would find freedom in the fog of life. In the place of not knowing, not seeing, but trusting God. It’s a complicated space for someone like me, a planner. I love when a carefully laid plan is executed the way I “think” it should go. God is allowing me to learn to trust Him in the fog.

I AM SUPER EXCITED TO ANNOUNCE THE PUBLICATION OF MY LATEST POETRY BOOK, MAYBE YES!

I remember when I first “truly” surrendered my life to Christ. I was a hot mess! I didn’t get euphoric feelings of release or an immediate life-altering Saul-like conversion. I was wavering, fighting every day to allow my life choices to line up with my heart’s decision. I failed more often than not.

Life has a way of consuming EVERYTHING in its path if we allow it. Our focus determines our perspective and I have experienced that full well this week. Personally, I am seeing people whom I care for suffer great losses and yet, their hope is still strong.

Last week I felt such and urge from The Lord to take a break, to pause, to be still. I find these urges to pause often happen right after an intense season of output or right before the on taking of a new dimension of life. The urge swept over me and for the first time I immediately embraced it. I did not delay, at 4am I created a post on my creative Instagram page announcing a Selah (until further notice).

I am currently wiping away tears from my eyes. These tears stem from being overwhelmed in the most loving of ways by God. It’s 5am on April 20th, 2021 and I’ve just sent approval for one of my art pieces to be used in a campaign in Brazil. Not just any campaign, but one that will change the lives of so many impoverished mothers.

I am currently living in the in-between of so many things. I’ve spent years trying to “arrive” only to realize I am chasing the wind. The amount of mental and emotional energy spent waiting to check a box is unreal.

As I reflect back, I now see that this art shop has been a dream in my heart for a very long time. I would daydream about the thought of it briefly, but never really mustered up the courage to flush it out until 2019. Even then, I wasn’t ready. My art is equivalent to reading the most intimate pages of my journal.

It is 4:45am and I’m on the cusp of launching my art shop on Etsy. This feeling is unsettling because of the unknown. I have more questions than answers at this point. Am I doing the right thing? Is now the time? Will it be received well? Will my community grow? Do I really want to share pieces of me publicly?

I was gifted the opportunity to share my testimony with CBN’s Turning Point International (TPi) program. Originally, when approached to share my testimony, I was nervous and wasn’t sure if I was ready to publicly share on such a large platform. I let my prayers lead me to saying yes and I am so glad I did.

I pray you all are having an amazing day. God is so faithful in so many ways, but if I am honest I questioned it this week. Why? Because my meticulously crafted plan was altered drastically. A big deal that was pretty much signed sealed and ALMOST delivered fell through. My heart felt like a giant hot air balloon deflating as I received the news. What now? Really?

I wish I could paint the creative process that evolves in my head to accurately give you all insight into my world. In words; think of a large amusement park with many different attractions, zigzag lines, chaos and order, lots of colors, music, and so many options of rides. If it sounds exhausting, it’s because it is!

I remember being a single mother; caught in a whirlwind between healing from an abusive marriage and raising a newborn. My world was flipped upside down in so many ways. In that season I fully realized who held my world.