care-less

In the art of transparency: I’ve spent too much time concerned with other’s thoughts of me. I’ve told myself, “I can’t because this person will be offended” or “I am not sure what they will say, so I won’t ruffle feathers.” I’ve jumped through hoops trying to accommodate people who honestly could care less about my feelings. I am guilty of spending precious time trying to clear my name from lies that a small few speak concerning me. You may have that one person that pops up from time to time and the sight of their name immediately makes you roll your eyes because you know its foolery.

I was absolutely tired of “unnecessarily” jumping through hoops just for my name sake. Most of the time I talk to God when the pressure to appease someone pops up, but I don’t always wait for the answer. With a heavy heart I waited this time. The Holy Spirit told me, “I am your defender.” How powerful is that? Immediately I was like “cool, BET!” That’s all I needed to know. I don’t have to fight every comment, accusation, assumption, opinion, preference, and confrontation that is thrown my way. In my time with the Lord I realized that the real problem isn’t other people at all, it is me! My pride wants to always clear my name, wants everyone in my past, present, and future to see me as God sees me. My pride is seeking to obtain a spotless record, something I already have because of Jesus! I was failing fighting a battle that has already been signed, sealed, and delivered through Jesus’s resurrection. I was ‘TRIPPIN’ for years! Do you know how exhausting it is to convince someone who already has their mind made up otherwise? The mind is powerful and usually the first perception is the hardest one to get rid of.

I am practicing daily to not respond to every email, comment, or fold to the pressure of meeting someone’s flawed standard. God sees me clearly, every hidden motive, every decision, and even still He is so in love with me. The more I focus on what God sees, the more He reveals my true authentic self.

And the less time I spend responding to foolery, the more I spend being intentionally present and whole!

Sometimes caring less is not a bad thing.

-Briana Ariel