Healing for me has come in waves. There were seasons when I went months without feeling the trauma of being in an abusive relationship. I thought I was completely good and loved my life accordingly. However, there were still triggers that rushed me back to places and spaces that were painful.

There was a time when my home was more of a storage unit than it was an oasis. I spent at least 3 weekends out the month traveling. My life consisted of constant movement. Some of those movements were work-related and others were a way of escape. Maybe it was my compulsion to say, “yes” when my body needed me to say, “no.” Regardless I put myself into a rhythm of living that left me depleted.

I took a beautiful walk in a rose garden and it was so gorgeous and enchanting. I thought about the different types of roses, the beauty that’s intertwined in the stems and how they remind me so much about my life.

As a mother caring for myself is actually one of the most selfless things I can do. I don’t do it “just because I want to,” but I need to so I can be more present, more graceful, and more loving for my children.

I was gifted the opportunity to share my testimony with CBN’s Turning Point International (TPi) program. Originally, when approached to share my testimony, I was nervous and wasn’t sure if I was ready to publicly share on such a large platform. I let my prayers lead me to saying yes and I am so glad I did.

I wish I could paint the creative process that evolves in my head to accurately give you all insight into my world. In words; think of a large amusement park with many different attractions, zigzag lines, chaos and order, lots of colors, music, and so many options of rides. If it sounds exhausting, it’s because it is!

I remember being a single mother; caught in a whirlwind between healing from an abusive marriage and raising a newborn. My world was flipped upside down in so many ways. In that season I fully realized who held my world.